How you ever wondered, what do gay men like in bed?
Show me a gay guy who hasn’t, or doesn’t watch gay porn and I will show you someone being untruthful.
Mind you, despite a greater awareness of gay relationships and gay sex much of these things are not always discussed in any great detail.
Much of the education is done through searching the Web and even then, certain aspects still seem to be taboo, especially when different cultures some into play.
Many years ago, there used to be much fun made when guys said they were looking at magazines like Playboy and Penthouse for the great articles they contained.
Fast forward 30 years and in many ways gay guys use porn sites to watch and learn sexual positions, techniques, role plays along with looking at cock size and other body image differences.
The problem with this part of gay culture is that it also places massive pressure on gay guys; not everyone has a fantastic 6-Pack of Abs, or an unnaturally long 9-inch cock.
The gay world is littered negatively with men placing these unfair expectations on themselves, resulting in many cases in abnormally high usage of drugs, high mental health issues and suicide rates.
What we need to accept is that people are just people, love is just love and sex is just sex. We should be enjoying all of those things.
The purpose of this Blog is to share how Gay Sex can be enjoyed without all the unnecessary pressures that exist out there.
Sign up to download this free 4000+ word Kama Sutra eBook
What do gay men like in bed – Five ways to have fantastic gay sex
Taking your time as a top bottom or vers guy
With gay anal sex size can be an issue, especially if one party has a large penis and the other has a small arsehole.
That doesn’t need to be a turn off; you simply need to take your time – don’t rush and always use plenty of good lube. At the end of the day you can’t just click your fingers and change your penis size or that penis size of your partner.
You are better off giving thought to those things that you can change such as; your own attitude, foreplay (and how it makes a huge difference), rotating sexual positions so that you both “find your groove”, being comfortable with your own body and body image, being self-confident, your thrusting techniques as well as your attitude.
If you make things good for you then they will feel good for your partner as well.
Gay relationship advice – Don’t self-destruct
Sometimes we place too much on ourselves; whether through negative thoughts, jealously, competitiveness; all of which could be intentional or not. As a result, we use it as a way of denying ourselves from having sex.
What we need to be is more honest with ourselves. That journey may result in a reduction of sex initially until we work though obtaining that greater level of self-esteem and to evaluate.
If much of your dating has been through dating Apps, then perhaps you should go back to old-fashioned ways of meeting people face-to-face as a pub, sports clubs, meet up’s, LGBTQ centres or gyms.
Locking eyes with someone has to be much better than looking at a picture; especially if it is one that is that old that it doesn’t bear any resemblance to how they look now.
Being a bottom in a relationship – Relaxation is key
Gay sex generally means that at least one party enjoys receiving anal sex.
However, that enjoyment may not always have been there. Let’s face it, if his anus is so tense that it is clenched firmly, then there is probably little show of anything going in there.
That’s where trying to relax his anus and you can do that for him, through pleasuring his anus until he opens up.
That pleasuring exercise may involve your fingers, your tongue or both. Remember to pleasure other erogenous zones first, such as the back of the neck, under the jaw, the chest, nipples and ears.
Work your way down his body until you are nearing the genitals, but run your tongue across his anus; tap it occasionally with your finger as you spread his arse-cheeks.
Some guys respond to their hole being spat at but watch his body and you will see him shudder when he is really getting pleasure from your work.
Offer him your finger so that he can gently encourage and allow you to loosen up his hole. Sometimes, adult sex toys such as butt plus or dildo’s can be used and enjoyed to really loosen things up before you try actual penetrative anal sex.
These toys make great foreplay moments.
Being a top in a gay relationship – Speed and rhythm
Finding a compatible speed and rhythm that suits both you and your partner can add a great level of pleasure and enjoyment to your sex lives.
Experimenting at first can be great fun too and it will certainly test the sort of positions and techniques that work, or don’t work for you both.
It’s not a race, so don’t rush things. Remember, a condom and good quality lube are must haves. They can be important too even if just using adult sex toys on each other.
Vary your thrusting techniques; starting slow and them increasing the speed and intensity. Alternating between faster and slower can also bring an element of surprise as well as the enjoyment level.
Communicate through this process; you don’t want to just assume and likewise you both want to feel heard, as the moment does involve both of you. Body language and touch will tell you what your partner is enjoying and they will get the same vibes from you.
Gay relationship stages – Learn to assess and respond to sex
Lots of people talk during sex; which is fine depending on the content.
However, in the gay world it is very common for guys not to talk after sex. That may be part of what contributes to the mental health aspect of gay guys.
It also presents an opportunity to do something to change how gay relationships work so that they become healthier relationships in the process.
Learn to share and express your feelings and how much pleasure you had in that post sex time spent together.
If you are still thinking what do gay men like in bed, then realize it should never be about reaching an orgasm, ejaculating and then making a hasty run for it. Instead, there needs to be that quiet cuddle time post sex, where both parties open up and really relax in their communication with each other. This is one of the main things you will learn which is how to have a successful gay relationship.
Gay relationship advice – Navigating your way through all the “BS” that is out there regarding gay sex
Quite simply there is a lot of crap out there regrading sex; positions, orgasms, positions, performance, penis size, circumcision, breast size, sex at the beach, to name but a few. Most of it is absolute garbage and here are a few examples relating to gay sex:
- All erections look the same – Nope they don’t; they come in all shapes and sizes. Be grateful and enjoy the one you have got and the one your partner has too.
- Sex at a gay beach is so awesome – Actually, a lot of the time it isn’t thanks to voyeurs, insects, sunburn, and sand that gets into every part of your body.
- Car sex is fun – TV and the movies make it look attractive but in reality, the main good thing about it is that it’s better than not having sex
- Only you and your partner will see your nude pics and sexts – Nope. Most people show at least three other people those sexts, and up to 15% of people admit they have accidently sent a cock shot to another friend or family member.
- Orgasms happen every time – No, they don’t and you can still have great sex without actual ejaculation. Porn movies create unnatural expectations. Real life is different and not everyone climaxes every single time. One partner may climax and the other may take a longer amount of time for their climax. That’s normal too; so enjoy that extra quality time rather than shooting a load and thinking it’s all over.
- Double bagging with a second condom is the way to go – The opposite is true. If you wear a second condom then it is likely that friction will happen as they rub together and can often result in both condoms bursting. Just wear one and always use a good quality lube with it.
- A condom expiry date doesn’t matter – It’s best to throw them away and buy new ones. The material can peris over time and you don’t want to take that risk.
- Big feet means a big cock – That would be a “No”. There is no scientific evidence to support that. Guys that brag about penis size usually have an ordinary sized one.
- Guys that “Bottom” fart more as they have loosened up down there – Once again there is no scientific evidence of that. However, it could just be that they were holding things in while having sex and are still relaxed afterwards, and out pops a fart. Just laugh about it together.
- To be good at gay sex you need a big cock – Sexual prowess is based on skill, and not on size. Practice makes perfect, especially if you ask what your partner likes or doesn’t like.
- Wanking will make you go blind – LOL. If that were true then there would be a lot more blind people than there are currently. Wank away guys; it feels great after all and it can always be done on each other or as part of your sex routine together.
- “Yes” always means “Yes” – No it doesn’t. Don’t assume wrongly that consensual sex on one occasion always means it’s consensual. It’s not and you need to get consensus each time; it’s not that difficult to ask someone.
- There is a greater level of sexual satisfaction for circumcised guys – There is no decline in sexual satisfaction just because of circumcision. You don’t need to feel self-conscious whether you are “cut” or “uncut”.
- It’s weird to have kinks or fetishes – There have been polls that show around 30% of people have engaged in this form of sex and, over 50% have never tried it but are interested in doing so. Wow; now there’s a great reason to buy yourself or your partner an adult sex toy.
Gay sex should be no different a sensation than any other form of sex; a consensual act between two people of the legal age of consent.
There is no reason to have fear, guilt, anxiety or panic about engaging in gay sex. People are just people. Love is just love and sex is just sex.
What is important is that improved communication could be at the base of change within the gay community. In particular there needs to be a reduced emphasis on just meeting “randoms” for a quick “blow and go” session.
This type of sex usually leaves the parties feeling worse afterwards as there is no real connection apart from a shared, quick sexual act.
It has been proven that sex within a relationship builds greater bonds and increased levels of sexual satisfaction and pleasure. As you explore you will start to figure out the answer to the question “what do gay men like in bed”.
However, for whatever reason there is a greater tendency within the gay community to have lower levels of self-esteem as well as increased levels of feeling that they have a body image and sexual prowess level that must be achieved.
Learn to accept yourself the way you are and get out there and find that someone special to have fantastic sex with.
12.8K 342 210