Every generation is given a name, for example; The Silent Generation (born 1928 – 1945), Baby Boomers (1946 – 1964), Gen X (1965 – 1980), Gen Y (1981 – 1996; also known as Millennial’s) and Gen Z (1997 – present; also known as Post Millennial’s).
This Blog article is going to focus on the Millennial’s as there has been a lot of studies and talk about them and their sex lives in particular over the past couple of years.
There is a misconception that Millennial’s are selfish, lazy, entitled, self-centered and complainers; and that just isn’t true. Every generation has traits and characteristics, both positive and negative. What appears to be happening with their sex lives isn’t really to do with those other misconceptions.
Fear not all those Millennial’s out there; you are not being banished to a life without sex. However, there are some definite things happening to the sex lives of the Millennial’s that we want to highlight as well as suggestions for how to make their sex lives better.
What sort of things are said to be having an effect on the Millennial generation’s sex lives
Basically, the things being said are that Millennial’s are having less sex that previous generations. There are many schools of thought on why that may be true. Let’s have a look at some of the things being said about Millennial’s sex lives.
Is stress to blame for relationship problems?
An interesting article by Dami Olonisakin in The Guardian (22 Nov 2018) looked at the effect of stress and anxiety on Millennial’s compared to previous generations.
Dami had looked at a new survey of 2,000 people by the BBC, that showed 45% of adults surveyed said that there had been a negative impact on their sex lives because of stress; 32% said that physical health was a cause and 26% said that mental health issues was the cause.
She also references a 2015 study by Dr Jean Twenge, that found that Millennial’s were having less sex, with fewer partners when compared to their parent’s generation at the same age.
Her conclusion to all of her research was that for many Millennial’s they were over stressed, with many things on their minds then having an effect on their libido. Things impacting on them were; the difficulty in finding a stable job, university study loan debt, moving away from the family home.
Dami made it clear that stress and anxiety were not the only effect on Millennial’s sex lives. She highlights that some experts suggest that both the Millennial’s generation and Post-Millennial’s suffer from excessive porn consumption that could be leading to “sexual anorexia” in men; in turn leading to libido and erection issues.
She also highlighted that struggling to get onto the property ladder, having children and experiencing mental health issues can also have their part in events affecting people.
Dami finished her article with a great comment; “It’s important we promote being sexually liberated and positive, but low millennial libido is a taboo we also need to break”.
Dami Olonisakin is the founder and editor of sex and relationship platform Simply Oloni
The millennial generation and the sex recession
The December 2018 edition of The Atlantic features and article by Kate Julian, titled “Why are young people having so little sex?”.
Her article opens with comment on how “culture has never been more tolerant of sex in just about every permutation. But despite all this, American teenagers and young adults are having less sex.”
Her article discusses how between 1991 to 2017, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey finds, the percentage of high-school students who’d had intercourse dropped from 54 to 40 percent.
During that same period, teen pregnancies have dropped as have the percentage of new HIV cases.
As with Dami Olonisakin, Kate also quotes from Jean M. Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University who has published research regarding the ebbing of Americans’ sex lives. Dr Twenge goes on to say that “today’s young adults are on track to have fewer sex partners than members of the two preceding generations”.
Some of these findings are interesting given that how openly sex is discussed in everyday life and that makes us think that other people are having a lot more sex than the reality.
One possible reason for the decline in sex for the millennial generation is that approximately 60 percent of adults below age 35 now live without a partner or spouse. One third of adults in this age range live with their parents, making that the most common living arrangement for them.
These statistics are not just for the USA; with other similar surveys producing declining sex rates for Millennial’s in many different countries including Britain, Australia, Finland, the Netherlands, Sweden and Japan to name a few.
A study from 2015 in Japan also showed that 43% of Millennial’s are virgins and had no intention to get married.
Kate also raises a very interesting phenomenon in Japan where entirely new descriptions have been coined to what is happening in their Millennial demographic. “These include rising generation of soushoku danshi—literally, grass-eating boys.” These “herbivore men” as they are known in English, are said to be ambivalent about pursuing either women or conventional success.
The new taxonomy of Japanese sexlessness also includes terms for groups such as hikikomori (“shut-ins”), parasaito shinguru (“parasite singles,” people who live with their parents beyond their 20s), and otaku (“obsessive fans,” especially of anime and manga)—all of whom are said to contribute to sekkusu shinai shokogun (“celibacy syndrome”).
Masturbation levels are also discussed by Kate where she raises that “from 1992 to 2014, the share of American men who reported masturbating in a given week doubled, to 54 percent, and the share of women more than tripled, to 26 percent. Easy access to porn is part of the story, of course; in 2014, 43 percent of men said they’d watched porn in the past week”. During that same time period the use of vibrators has also soared with over 10,000 different products now available in the market.
By 2017 these changes had also made an effect on the online searches for porn through Pornhub. Kate has mentioned the following in 2017; In first place, for the third year running, was lesbian (a category beloved by men and women alike). The new runner-up, however, was hentai—anime, manga, and other animated porn. Porn has never been like real sex, of course, but hentai is not even of this world; unreality is the source of its appeal.
Kate also has this excellent YouTube video highlighting all the major facts relating to this sex drought in the Millennial’s.
Is a hook up culture to blame for relationship problems?
There is a lot of negative comment in the press and online that Millennial’s have become prolific at Hooking Up with strangers for sex, rather than forming relationships.
In July 2017 Abodo conducted a survey of 3,500 Millennial’s to ask them their views and their sexual habits, including dating and use of popular apps. Their findings came up showing the Millennial’s to be quite traditional in this regard.
They found that they were active uses of dating apps, but that 32% were only using the apps because of boredom; and a further 13% were using the apps for an ego boost. The actual percentage of Millennial’s using the apps to find an actual date was only 4%.
Image Source (https://www.abodo.com/blog/millennials-hookup-culture/)
A counter argument that questions whether the millennial generation really are getting less sex
On 18 May 2018, Simone Paget of the Toronto Sun wrote an article titled “Inside the secret sex lives of millennial’s”.
In the article, Simone discusses results of a survey by SKYN Condoms who had recently surveyed nearly 4,000 sexually active adults between the ages of 19 and 36 years of age and discovered some interesting findings about their attitudes, behaviours and preferences when it comes to sex. Not only are millennial’s responsibly enjoying their sex lives, (74% of those surveyed said they are satisfied with their sex lives), they’re also very confident in the sack (70% of condom users report that they are “amazing” or “very good in bed” – no performance anxiety here!).
The millennial generations attitude to safe sex was revealing with “The 2018 Lifestyles Millennial Sex Survey found that 60% of respondents are using condoms ‘always’, ‘most of the time’, or ‘sometimes’ and that 73% of singles and 70% of those in casual relationships use condoms ‘always’ or ‘most of the time.”
They also found that women are taking control when it comes to condoms, with “71% of females agree that it is both sexes responsibility to have condoms while 60% of males agree”.
Once again, the use of online dating apps was discussed. SKYN’s survey results found that; “Compared to SKYN’s 2017 Sex Survey, fewer millennial’s are using dating apps. Only 21% of respondents reported using online dating sites, mobile apps, or social media to find a sexual partner.”
One interesting finding was that older Millennial’s were seen to be kinkier; “With age, comes more kink. Older millennial respondents (aged 30-36) are using kinkier sexual accessories, with 42% incorporating anal beads, 37% using handcuffs, 42% videotaping sexual encounters, and 39% using whips.”
Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex with Emily podcast was asked for her views on the survey findings. Part of her response was;
My biggest takeaway is that sex is a still a big part of millennial’s lives. Every once in a while, I hear a discouraging report that suggests sex isn’t a priority for millennial’s, so to me this is all great news. I love the fact that most of the respondents report they’re having sex multiple times per week – and that the vast majority say they’re satisfied or very satisfied with their sex lives she says. A sign that when it comes to our collective sex lives, we’re moving in the right direction.
How can subtle additions and changes make a Millennial’s sex life more satisfying?
If I was to summarize the above findings into the sex lives of Millennial’s these would be the most common ones:
- They do appear to be having less sex than previous generations, however; although they would like more sex, they are not necessarily unhappy with their current sex lives.
- They are more traditional in their views towards sex that previous generations; often leaving losing their virginity until later and staying living at home with their parents well into their 20’s.
- Stress, physical health and mental health all play a part.
- Finding a suitable job, trying to get onto the property ladder, paying off student education debt and moving away from the family home are major causes of stress and anxiety.
- Excessive porn consumption could be leading to “sexual anorexia” in men; in turn leading to libido and erection issues. A major 2017 study of Pornhub searches found that lesbian porn was the most searched porn for the third year running. However, the second most searched porn type was now hentai—anime, manga, and other animated porn.
- Today’s young adults are on track to have fewer sex partners than members of the two preceding generations.
- Masturbation levels for both men and women have increased dramatically between 1992 and 2014 so much so for women that there are now around 10,000 vibrators on the market.
- There has been much commentary suggesting that Millennial’s are huge users of online dating apps to hook up with strangers for casual sex. A major research study of 3,500 Millennial’s by Abodo in July 2017 found Millennial’s to actually be quite traditional in this regard. They found that 32% were only using the apps because of boredom; and a further 13% were using the apps for an ego boost. The actual percentage of Millennial’s using the apps to find an actual date was only 4%.
- A SKYN condoms study from 18 May 2018 of nearly 4,000 sexually active Millennial’s found that 74% are actually happy with their sex lives and that they also think they are good at sex. Condom use was on the rise with 60% of respondents are using condoms ‘always’, ‘most of the time’, or ‘sometimes’ and that 73% of singles and 70% of those in casual relationships use condoms ‘always’ or ‘most of the time. They also found that older Millennial’s were seen to be kinkier; with 42% incorporating anal beads, 37% using handcuffs, 42% videotaping sexual encounters, and 39% using whips.
The Millennial Generation – Masturbation for women
The Millennial Generation – Masturbation for men
A fake vagina or pocket pussy are sex toys for the men who prefer to be having some form of penetrative sex as their preferred form of masturbation. It leaves your hands free, such as to tease your nipples or other sensitive spots, as you can also have a butt plug inserted into your anus at the same time as using the fake vagina or pocket pussy.
Blow up Sex Dolls and Love Dolls are like the fake vagina and pocket pussy in that they are sex toys for the men who prefer to be having some form of penetrative sex as their preferred form of masturbation.
It leaves your hands free, such as to tease the doll’s nipples or your own nipples or other sensitive spots, as you can also have a butt plug inserted into your anus at the same time as using the fake vagina or pocket pussy. You can also use the mouth of the sex dolls or love dolls for penetrating with your penis as a form of oral sex.
Vibrating Cock Rings will actually give your penis more stimulation. An electric cock ring should be easy to use and it should stay in place without holding it every minute and therefore keeping the penis at full attention. That way you can get a totally different sensation from your cock and balls when masturbating to orgasm.
Once again, no matter what sex toy or sex aid you use make sure that you are using it with plenty of personal lubricant so that you increase your sexual stimulation and pleasure and to help avoid hurting yourself even if just masturbating on your own.
Sexual accessories for the older Millennial’s
The 2018 SKYN Condoms report found that older Millennial’s were seen to be kinkier; with 42% incorporating anal beads, 37% using handcuffs, 42% videotaping sexual encounters, and 39% using whips.
Our range of Anal Beads include some made from Glass and Metal in addition to the more traditional Rubber or Jelly type materials. Most have beads in graduated sizes. You can also get them with a vibrating mode for extra stimulation.
Butt Plugs also come in a variety of materials as well as sizes and with or without a vibrating function. It is best to train with a starter set. There are different sizes of plugs you can order for sex toy use. Some anal plugs have a suction cup on the bottom and some are provided with a handle. Silicone material is very smooth for insertion and is a great choice when looking at shapes, variety and sizes.
Be sure to choose a plug that is very soft in texture but firm. Various sizes work well for beginners. After this you can lead your way up to advanced play! You can start off with anal beads, small butt plugs and anal rods to get comfortable with anal play.
If you are a regular user, you may go straight to the big one (a larger size premium butt plug) If you don’t have any use for the smaller ones. A medium sized anal plug is excellent for training and because of this, the difference in shape and the sensation is quite varied depending on the size you purchase.
You may prefer to buy an anal plug set. With the size difference between small, medium and large, you may work towards the large anal plug being the overall goal. We are very pleased to offer you our wide selection of sex toys and we are looking forward to expanding your horizons!
Handcuffs may not actually be legal in your geographic location, so always check that out before purchasing a set. However, there are also great wrist and ankle cuffs made from soft material and incorporating Velcro for quick and easy removal.
Whips come in a wide range of types, materials and sizes such as Whipping Sticks, Ticklers, Penis Whips and even Silicone Rope that is easily undone. Everyone gets pleasure from different things and if you are unsure about what products may best suits your needs then always contact us if that helps.
Stress, anxiety, physical health and mental health and the millennial generation
Because Stress, Physical Health and Mental Health were identified in more than one of the study’s we have discussed above then you may also get benefits from speaking with your Doctor.
Just because some studies found that Millennial’s are having less sex than previous generations does not necessarily mean that if you are a Millennial then that affects your sex life.
It may just mean that life is stressful, busy, expensive and that you don’t necessarily have the time or energy for sex as much as you would like.
You may still be living at home because it is cheaper, and/or you have a student loan to pay off. You may also feel awkward or have privacy issues about bringing someone home and having sex with them in the family home.
You may be time poor and that may mean that masturbation or a hook up may be your sex of choice and that a relationship may not be on your horizon currently.
However, it does mean that you can have an amazing and fulfilling sex life that could be heightened by purchasing and using some appropriate sex toys and sex aids that suit your current situation.