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healthy relationships

Build Better Relationships – How can i develop a healthy sex life? Have you tried Cock Pumping?

One’s sexual life does not have and should never be boring in marriage.

Even if you and your partner get older, you should still have the intimacy that you’ve felt when you first met each other.

If you are a man, your sex life should feel amazing as the years go by. After all, you already know what she likes, her preferences, and the things that she dislikes in bed.

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However, there, as you grow older, the body changes and transforms. There are problems such as erectile dysfunction in men and hormone problems in women that make lovemaking complicated.

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If one is unhappy within the marriage, he or she might have an affair to satisfy their needs.

Affairs can wreck a relationship, and it can mean “the end” when one discovers that the other is cheating on them.

This is not to say that all people who are unsatisfied with their partners when it comes to sex life will cheat. But most of the time, sex can be one of the main factors why most people seek others outside of the relationship. One should make an effort to improve their intimacy and should put this into their priority list.

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How can i develop a Healthy Sex Life?

Sometimes people confuse themselves when it comes to discussing Relationships because for some, they think that Sex is the basis of a relationship. Sure; the simple reality is that sex is an important part of a relationship.

However just because the sex may be great it doesn’t mean that the relationship will follow suit. Likewise, just because someone thinks they have a great relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the sex between them is great.

Let’s take a look at some of the various factors related to relationships and the benefits of sex and that way we might find ways of improving things on both fronts.

 

What makes a great relationship?

If we were to take a survey out and write down the responses to that question, we would probably get a list of responses such as:

  • Instant attraction (and keeping those feelings alive).
  • Romance.
  • Keeping the romance alive.
  • Great sex on a regular basis.
  • Care and consideration.
  • Treating your partner as an equal.
  • Treating your partner special.
  • Buying them flowers and/or chocolates.
  • Doing things together.
  • Having time alone.
  • Surprise weekends.
  • Date nights.

 

Here is a well-used saying; “the important things in life are not things” and that applies perfectly to relationships. All of the listed responses above are valid we believe the real key to all relationships is simple communication.

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Here in more detail are communication steps that we think are the key to a great relationship:

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Healthy relationships are made from Equality

Treat each other as equals with no one person’s input of greater value or worthiness than the other. Allow equal air time for both parties.

 

 

Don’t assume and create relationship anxiety

Never assume that your partner is on the same page. Discuss, question, explain, clarify and only then, agree. Too often this is not done, causing unnecessary friction in a relationship.

 

Question, question and question

If in doubt always use questions to understand or to ask your partner if they understand what is being communicated.

 

Be appropriate

Use an appropriate communication style; open, honest, clear, non-confrontational. Do not use words or tone that you know will push your partner’s buttons.

 

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A healthy relationship is based on considerate timing

Be conscious of when is or isn’t the right time. Don’t push for a conversation just because it is high up on your agenda.

If the timing is bad for your partner then pick a more appropriate time. Likewise, if the timing is bad for you then put your hand up and share that with your partner.

 

Avoid sarcasm or belittling language and style

In this day and age, it is still evident that arguments and relationship damage is caused by one party, or both, using too much sarcasm or language that will bring down the other person. Just because we may have the communication skills to do that to our partner does not make us look clever.

It is actually the opposite impression that is the lasting one. Always treat people with respect.

 

 

Don’t keep trying to revive a conversation or give relationship advice to your partner

There is a well-used saying we have all learned; “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. Unfortunately, too often this is acted out within a relationship communication process; often resulting in an argument or communication breakdown.

Just because we want things to go our way doesn’t mean that we have to keep bringing up and argument or topic; wearing down our partner until we get out own way.

Of course, you could also be on the receiving end of that technique. In a healthy, well-functioning relationship there is no need or place for this negative communication style.

 

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You don’t have to win, to win to have a healthy relationship

Sometimes in a relationship one party is dominant, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and of course, in communication style and techniques.

That may mean that for some they have to always win in every situation; perhaps out of ignorance to what it is like to be on the receiving end of such behavior.

It may also be a definite form of bullying; one that has never been addressed. Such behavior may need professional counselling. However, for all of us it is important to remember, and to behave in such a way that demonstrates that we don’t always have to win, to win.

 

Be prepared to say sorry or show that you are sorry

Always say you are sorry, or at least make an effort to say or demonstrate that you are sorry when in the wrong.

Some people, because of events in their lives, have a genuine inability to say sorry and because that may have a trauma attached to it, we should never push and push that person to give an apology.

They may have their own way of demonstrating that they are sorry and we should also be big enough and emotionally mature enough to treat that as OK.

A key thing here is also not to be that stubborn or arrogant that you have to keep pushing. In addition, it is important not to play the victim in an attempt to solicit a “sorry” from your partner.

 

 

Talk about sex

Back at the beginning of this article we described that sex is an important aspect of a relationship, but that a relationship is not just about sex.

When it comes to talking about sex in our relationship, we need to be open, honest, timely, circumspect and positive in how we approach things.

Nobody enjoys being told that they are a dud in bed, or that their individual body parts are inferior, or don’t always turn you on.

Another big “No No”, is trying to force your partner into having sex, or trying a different form of sex such as Anal or the use of Sex Toys, watching porn etc, just because you want that. There is no room for bullying when sex is involved.

However, you do need to be able to discuss sex; wants, needs, fantasies, fetishes, positions, pain, pleasure, performance, effect of medications, stress, sex toys (such as a cock pump), etc in a mature, constructive, non-damaging way.

If you start getting all the different communication techniques right you have a massive chance that your sex life will develop and improve way beyond what it is now.

 

In person vs phone & electronic means

Too often arguments and communication friction are fueled by choosing the wrong communication style or method.

Mobile phones and other electronic devices have made it so easy to “flick” off a quick message or reply to someone and in doing so the message may be interpreted in the wrong way. It can also be common for the wrong style or words to be used deliberately, as a way of putting the other person down.

Think before you hit “send”; there may be a better way of communicating that message.

 

Non-verbal cues

Sometimes we get it wrong in person through non-verbal cues such as body language.

Remember, avoiding eye contact, a shrug, a sneer, a wrongly timed nod etc all send the wrong message.

Treat each other with respect by giving each other full attention when communicating. Not doing so sends a wrong message that you are disinterested. You both matter; show it and mean it.

 

1. Work on good communication

Communicating with each other will make you understand each other a little more.

If you are intimate with your partner, you can be in the mood to have sex with them. Don’t only talk about the children and the finances, instead, talk about your desires, fantasies, and everything that will both get you in the mood.

The process of discovery and knowing your partner’s innermost feelings can make lovemaking a great experience for both of you.

 

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2. Confide your body changes as you get older

You might have body changes that you should discuss with your partner to make things more transparent. For men, the lack of erection just with the thought of lovemaking might cause their partners to doubt that she’s not attractive enough to cause an erection.

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3. Google tips on self-help strategies for a healthy relationship

Sexual problems are now easier to treat now than ever. There are medications and professional therapists that are available if you need them. One can start to read self-help books and articles if they have problems with arousal or if they are having difficulty in getting into an intimate mood.

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4. Be clear about your expectations and desires with your partner

If you have expectations in bed, don’t hesitate to share them with your partner. You don’t have to sound critical when opening about what you want in bed. Just state the things that make you feel good. False and unmet expectations can hurt your marriage in the long run. Be tactful and sensitive so that both of you can have a richer experience.

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5. Start making plans for sex

There are times when work, children, school, and other factors can make the sex life of both partners impossible. Even if some couples find that a schedule takes the thrill out of a sexual encounter, it can be beneficial. Plans can benefit those couples who make love once every two months.

Having a schedule can be as fun as spontaneous sex. Flirting and sending messages before the day can build anticipation. Flirtations, notes, and hugs often do the trick of setting the mood right.

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6. Initiate your new found sex toy desires as often as you can

Don’t expect your spouse to make a move more often. If you are in the mood, don’t be afraid to initiate. You need to be responsible for initiating to maintain a healthy relationship. Aside from sex, you can start holding hands, go on date nights, and do other things that make your spouse happy.

 

7. Make it work for you to create a healthy relationship

With genuine effort and planning, everything can work out in the end. You can meet your spouse’s expectations by communicating effectively. If changes are happening in your body, you should talk it out with your partner so that they can understand.

Never make them feel neglected and don’t compare your sex life with others. You should also take good care of your emotional, mental, and physical health. Your relationship will flourish if you both have the initiative to make things work out.

 

 


A Summary: Why great sex isn’t just about having sex

It would be very easy to now write a second list of ways to have great sex. However, the answer is already in front of us every day; that answer being “communication”.

If you don’t think that the link between great sex and communication is the key then re-read all of the Points above; and not just a quick read, really read and question yourself how many of those things you are your partner do.

You may actually find that in opening and developing real, mature, open and honest communication where you can do so without personal and emotional fear, or fear of change entering the equation that you actually may end up with an awesome sex life.

You may also find that as you open up your communication with one another you trust in one another as well as the process of change, you will actually start experimenting sexually in ways that previously you have said “No” or even been repulsed by.

Relationships are not easy, but they weren’t made to be difficult either. Sometimes those difficulties can be easily changed. Give the communication tips above a fair go and send us your feedback as we would love to hear how your relationships and sex have developed.

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