Here we are writing up about an introduction to sex education, we weren’t put on this planet to be alone and having a healthy, meaningful and enjoyable relationship involves having sex. Whether that means choosing to (or accidentally) pass our genetic material on by creating another human being; or just having a whole lot of fun practicing it still means that we are connecting deeply with another person.
So why write about sex?
Just the act of sex is one of those special moments that is probably the closest we come to actually baring our soul with someone.
Having sex can be complicated, risky in terms of sexual health issues or the chance of falling pregnant, sometimes judgmental in terms of sexual performance, body image or size and shape of our genitals.
It can also be amazing fun, beautiful in the sharing of intimacy and even educational when we experiment with new techniques and positions as well as the use of adult sex toys and games.
The act of sex can also teach us a lot about respect in terms of the other person’s feelings, their level of comfort with trying different things, how they respond to pleasure and orgasm, etc.
It is important to explore and experiment; but it is also equally important that we seek our partner’s permission before doing so. We should mutually discuss our sexual expectation and feelings as not judging each other for doing the same.
In other words, it teaches us that we don’t have to think it’s all about how much sex we have, nor do we have to perform as if we think porn that we have watched is typical of most couple’s sex lives.
It demonstrates to us that we don’t have to be an arsehole when having sex; that being an adult is an entirely different approach for both of us.
Sign up to download this free 4000+ word Kama Sutra eBook
An Introduction About Sex Education – Don’t overthink sex
Every generation is the same; a mixture of thinking they know everything about sex, to being terrified and nervous, unable or unwilling to discuss with close friends or family.
Just the thought of our parents, or grandparents having sex is one of those moments we don’t even want to think about, for fear of visualizing and then never being able to un-see it.
However, lets face it, each of those generations have managed to produce the generation that follows them. Likewise, they have managed to run a household, hold down a job, learn to drive a car, adapt to different technology like the TV Remote and Mobile Phones.
Why should sex have been any different for them?
The biggest problem was more that in their generation the topic wasn’t always discussed openly and largely left to sex education classes or experimentation and an element of ignorance and lust combined.
Sex can be strange, weird at times, complicated and even dirty. The truth is so can life be all of those things. Embrace life and embrace sex.
Things you should ask yourself to determine if you are ready for sex.
We think that we are supposed to be ready for sex all of the time, or at least if one of the partners is hinting or suggesting that it is time.
What we really need though is a checklist; preferably something you can commit to memory once mastered. The last thing you want is to have to refer to it in front of the other partner; not a good look.
Here are some ideas we have thought of that should help you find out if you are ready for sex:
Have you purchased condoms yet?
If “No”, you are not ready. If “Yes” you need to ask yourself how long it has been since you purchased them. Even if you have purchased condoms, make sure they haven’t passed their “Use by Date” as you are still not ready for sex if that date has expired.
Have you got the consent of your partner yet?
If you haven’t asked them yet, they you are definitely not ready. Likewise, asking them while “under the influence” is also not a valid form of consent.
How long have you known each other?
In this day and age of “Dating Apps” many people are “hooking up” for sex with a one-night stand, or someone you have only met fairly recently.
Note to self; this is just lust. Surely someone you are having sex with should be someone you are in a relationship with, otherwise you are just having sex for sex’s sake and what that is saying is that actually you are not really ready for sex.
Have you seen each other naked yet?
When we say naked, we mean completely nude and have you seen each other’s breasts, genitals, buttocks and anus yet? If “No”, then you still are not ready for sex.
Have you discussed Oral Sex and/or Anal Sex yet?
You need to know the boundaries and also how much each other are interested in sexual pleasuring rather than just for procreation reasons.
If you haven’t discussed these forms of sex yet then you still are not ready for sex.
What is your expectation on how long sex will last?
If you think it is something that will last (or is supposed to last) an hour or more then you are putting too much of an expectation on yourself and that of your partner.
You are also still not ready for sex yet.
As an introduction to sex education, the fact is the average sex session lasts a little over 5 minutes. Sure; there is foreplay and post-coital pleasure to factor in but at actual act of sex itself lasts a little over 5 minutes.
You need to accept that as the norm before you are ready for sex.
What is your plan regarding the other partner once you have had sex?
If you don’t have a plan regarding them then you still are not ready for sex yet.
Likewise, if you don’t see yourself staying in contact, or at a minimum being able to be civil with them in a social context then you still are not ready for sex.
Through each of these Check List points you will see that there is a large emphasis on the need for consent, communication, being open, honest and fearless to how you share with one another.
It needs to be, because that is how sex should be in any relationship.
An Introduction About Sex Education – What other Do’s & Don’ts are there when it comes to sex?
There are many; so here are some suggestions as an introduction to sex education:
Things you should Do:
- Understand that there is no right way.
- Use condoms.
- Realize that sex can mean different things to each other.
- It’s not a race; pace yourself as it’s ok to take time.
- Respect each other’s boundaries.
- Get your partner to orgasm first. It’s that important.
- Give them plenty of warning before you orgasm.
- Always be honest about things you like or dislike.
- Use technology; as in adult sex toys or games. They can be awesome for foreplay too.
- Learn how to perform oral sex especially using your tongue more than your fingers.
- If on the receiving end of oral sex learn to appreciate it.
- Keep an open mind when it comes to anal sex. Explore slowly and gently at first.
Remember they erogenous zones like the clitoris, vagina, breasts and nipples, neck, mouth, penis, even the ears and tummy button for some people.
Some gay guys love their anus being fingered or licked; but always know the boundaries.
- Always be responsible.
- Put on porn if both parties are into it.
- Vary things; there’s nothing wrong with getting a bit wild on occasions.
- Explore and experiment; they add to the fun factor.
- Don’t overdo the dirty talk. Compliments are far better received.
- Always help clean up afterwards.
Don’t do these things
- Never compare the moment with one you had with an ex. Not cool.
- You don’t have to perform like a porn star or contortionist. Likewise, you don’t have to perform as if you are in a tantric sex session lasting hours.
- Focusing on penis size is not a good idea. Size does not always matter.
- Never use an out-of-date condom. Likewise, never put a second condom on over the first one. Not a good idea folks.
- Don’t seek a performance rating. Let things happen naturally without those sorts of pressures.
- Farts are natural; don’t laugh at them unless the other partner does so first.
- Don’t stare into their eyes continuously. Some variation is the key.
Sex the same way in the same position every time is a “No No”. Don’t assume you are being replaced by technology just because an adult sex toy comes out of the drawer and becomes part of the routine. Sex toys can be fun and can be your friend.
- Never forget to kiss.
- A shower before sex will make you smell better to them, every time.
- Don’t ever push their head down to force them into performing Oral sex on you. Let things develop naturally.
- Never interrupt sex for a phone call or message. Those things can wait and should wait.
Five ways to show you are great at sex
Everyone is keen to make the most of the moment; but there is no need to rush. Always take the appropriate length of time for both of you to truly enjoy the moment. Studies have shown that women on average take between 15 to 40 minutes to orgasm. Learn to enjoy that moment. Foreplay is important, but start that before you get into the bedroom. Share your feelings and learn to kiss a lot in all those parts of her body that you know excite your partner. If things are not turning on your partner, ask them what they like and help them to relax.
Don’t fake things – always be yourself
Learn to love yourself and know your worth as a human being. It will show and your partner will notice and appreciate it too. There is no expectation for you to be a sexual god so don’t treat yourself badly or place unnecessary expectations on yourself. Accept your body as is; not everyone has a gym body or a massive penis; in fact, realize that a massive penis is not an indicator for great sexual prowess.
Always be in the moment
Be aware of where you are, what is going on around you and how your partner is responding to and behaving in the moment. You don’t have to (and shouldn’t either) always think that sex has to be done the same way, in the same position, at the same time and in the same place every time. Vary the speed. Try having sex in a different place, like on the kitchen counter, or in a secluded place in the garden, or in the middle of the living room floor. If you are always the one in control then change that around so that your partner leads from time-to-time. There is not one way to always have sex, so be aware of those things around you and learn how to vary your sex.
Learn to lick and use your tongue on your partner by starting on the inner thighs, then moving on to their genitals. The key is in using your tongue to work your way around all those places “Down South”. Take notice of how your partner responds to the different things you do and which part of their anatomy gets turned on the best. If they grasp your head and hold you there, then keep going as that’s a strong indicator that you have hit their “spot”. Touching their breasts or nipples can be a massive turn on in this situation, so pay attention to what works the best and use it for the pleasure of both of you.
Remain in the picture
Sticking around always sends a greater picture than just having sex and then making a run for it. After play is just as important as foreplay, so if you don’t make the most of it now then change your habits as both of you will love it. Holding each other, kissing, making each other aware of how much you enjoyed the moment and how much you enjoyed them are massive turn on moments. It’s also OK to laugh together at funny moments but never think that a performance appraisal or critique are needed.
Sex is special but it takes effort, commitment and respect for both parties to truly get awesome pleasure. Try some of these techniques and experience how great your sex can become.
25.2K 2.3K 56